Yesterday was 5 months since Josh’s accident. This morning, Josh’s therapy team said that today was his best day yet. Each one of the teams working with Josh has commented on his progress. A few days ago in therapy Josh was connected to a machine that moved his arms systematically to touch objects on the screen. It was similar to virtual-reality rehab, where Josh’s brain sees (and feels) his arms move, all in an attempt to re-train his brain.
We have been so thankful for the staff in San Antonio that works so diligently with our Josh! Our prayer tonight is that the progress continues and Josh shows more consistent, intentional movement.
I preface what I am about to write with saying: I have hope in the recovery and I believe that Josh will one day enjoy the things that we all take for granted on a daily basis.
We have Hope. Hope sustains us.
We hope that Josh will make a full recovery. However, we have been given no guarantees or promises that this will happen. With that, I have been trying to prepare myself for a scenario where Josh does not return to his old self. My parents say they have to look at each day and ask the question: “If this is all the recovery that Josh makes, am I content?” I have tried to approach each day with that mindset. Each day I reset and must come to terms with Josh’s condition. Each day I pray for progress and ask for patience. I am a planner. However, I have no control over Josh’s recovery which is teaching me to be ‘OK’ not being in control. This daily process takes a toll. It often leaves me asking questions that I know I shouldn’t ask.
Is any of this fair? No… But that is life. In the same way that we have received no promises on Josh’s recovery, God does not promise that life will be fair. He, in fact, says that life will be difficult and, at times, painful. In life we will see bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We will see rulers come and go - kingdoms rise and fall - loved ones struggle - enemies succeed. I used to praise God for all the good things in life and cry out to God when things did not go my way. Learning to praise God for the good things and bad has forced me to change the way I live my life and changed the way I see the world. I would never wish this trial on anyone; however, I praise God for his consistency and provision through all of this and through all of you. I am thankful for being able to experience the Lord in this way – for in no part of this has God left us.
I have felt a wide range of emotions over the last 5 months, but the feeling that has surprised me the most is pity. I pity the unbeliever, for if this life were all that we have to live for, coming to terms with the fairness of all of this seems rather impossible.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
All In For Josh